things done about not much
by rangerclutterbucket
Summary: you and i are too wise to woo each other peacefully / much ado about nothing au
1. act 0

**_act 0 (aka prologue)_**

* * *

"Josh?"

"Yo, Boing!" Maya yelled as she and Riley entered the house,"Our bags can't carry themselves inside!"

The girls heard soft footsteps as the older boy walked down the stairs.

"Well, since you're asking so kindly," he said as he flopped himself on the couch and started fiddling on his phone. Maya rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently with hands on her hips.

Riley elbowed Maya softly and nodded at her uncle. "Maya..."

"What?"

"Apologize."

Rolling her eyes once more Maya walked over to the couch and leaned down. "Hey, Josh?"

He smiled brightly at her, "Why, hello, dear Maya. I believe you have some words for me?"

"Actually," Maya smiled equally wide and bright. Too bright. "I do."

She continued smiling and Josh saw the glint of mischief in her eye as she slowly but surely grabbed the back of the couch and easily flipped it just enough so that he would fall off.

"Get off your ass and go get our bags!"

Josh chuckled lightly and looked at Maya and then at Riley, who was just shaking her head while also trying not to laugh. "Well, it's nice to see some things never change," he sighed as he stood up and stretched his arms wide. "C'mere, you two."

He walked over to where they stood and pulled the girls into a big hug and squeezed. Hard.

"Uncle Josh? I can't breathe."

"Yeah, I kinda wanna live through the summer," Maya breathed as they were released from the tight grip.

"As do I. And I have a feeling this is going to be our best one yet." Riley said happily, putting her arm around her best friend and turning to the big window overlooking the sea. "Picture it: just you, me and the beach."

"Excu-"

"And Josh. Just like old times."

"Well, it's going to be like old times, that's for sure."

The girls eyed each other. "And why exactly is that?" asked Maya turning around to narrow her eyes at him.

"Minkus just texted. They're on their way."

Riley turned to Maya with a slight grin on her face while the blonde kept her eyes on Josh, no expression evident on her face as she spoke warily.

" _They_?"

* * *

 **Well, there it is.**

 _Disclaimer (in case you got confused by my fabulous writing):  
_ _I DO NOT OWN GMW OR SHAKESPEARE'S MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING_


	2. act I: scene 1-1

**'Kay, first things first.  
** **I will gradually post the full cast list as each character is introduced. So far we've got:**

Maya as _Beatrice_  
Riley as _Hero_  
Josh as _Leonato_

 **And now it's time for y'all to meet Benedick, Don Pedro and Claudio! *excitement***

* * *

 _ **act I, scene 1.1 (aka the road)**_

* * *

"Hey, Farkle, are we there yet?"

"No."

A minute later, "What about now? Are we there yet now?"

Lucas gripped the wheel tightly but let Farkle continue the conversation.

" _No_."

"You said we'd be there by now."

"And we would be, if we didn't have to stop every 10 miles per your bladder's needs."

"Fair enough." There was a small pause. "Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"And n-"

Lucas considered himself to be a patient man (for the most part...on a good day), but he was only now realizing that maybe locking him in a car with his best friends for more than an hour was not the best decision; at least not where his temper was concerned.

"No, Zay, we have not arrived to the beach house yet. Maybe if you looked out the fucking window you'd see that we are on a fucking bridge fucking _surrounded_ by water and that there is, in fact, no fucking beach and no fucking house in sight. Could you think about that for a second and stop goddamn asking every two?"

A full five minutes passed and no one said a word.

"Are we there yet _now_?"

"That's it." Lucas turned to face Zay and struggled to properly grab his neck; Farkle tried to keep them all alive by taking control of the wheel from the passenger seat.

It's the first day of summer and their lives are already in danger.

Farkle shrugged. _Meh, we've had worse._

* * *

"Maya, let him go!"

"Not until he tells me who's coming!"

Meanwhile, at a beach house about an hour away, the blonde had her arms and legs latched onto the back of an unsuspecting young man.

"I already told you I don't know!"

"Oh, but I know you do!"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?! He literally wrote 'We're on our way' and that's it."

"Well fucking ask him!"

"Fucking release me you demented koala!"

Maya sighed and let herself fall on the couch next to Riley, who had taken a seat when the Maya's little tantrum had gone from alarming to ordinary. Josh flopped down beside her, typing away on his phone.

After a good five minutes, Maya thought it was time. "Did you ask him yet?"

"Asked who what?"

And so she launched herself at him again.

* * *

"Man, how do you treat puppies with those hands? You could kill them if you're not careful and I don't hang with puppy killers."

"Zay, I've told you countless times: I. Do not. Work. With puppies. I'm not that kind of vet."

"Fine, whatever, baby lambs. You could kill baby lambs with those hands. Just like you almost killed this baby lamb."

Lucas just rolled his eyes and decided to ignore him the rest of the way.

"So are we there yet? I gotta pee."

* * *

"Well, at least he's getting our bags now."

"Yeah, took him long enough."

The girls were watching through the big window as Josh tried to carry their bags and a few groceriesa while attempting to close the trunk all at once. As soon as he got through the door he dropped everything on the floor.

"My job here is done." His phone dinged to signal a text. "Farkle update, about nine miles away."

"So is the devil coming down to Georgia or not?"

He turned the phone so the girls could see the picture. "Wait, this is Georgia?"

* * *

"You know how earlier I referred to myself as a baby lamb?"

Farkle didn't even need to glance at the clock. "That was like three minutes ago."

"Yeah, okay, I have now decided that I am a lion."

"A baby lion, you mean."

"No, asswipe. A legit lion. In the body of a baby lamb."

Lucas pulled over at the gas station wordlessly.

* * *

"It's not that funny."

Maya kept clutching her stomach as she laughed. After a couple minutes she regained some composure. "Are you blind?" She looked at the picture again and broke out in hysterics for a third time.

The Farkle update had come in the form of a picture. Taken outside the convenience store, it showcased one Lucas Friar eating a burrito while sporting an NYU t-shirt, flip flops and a beard.

"He," Maya said between gasps, "he grew a fucking beard." She fanned herself a little, trying to recompose again. "Is he even trying to resist the nicknaming?"

Riley rolled her eyes as Maya resumed her laughter attack.

* * *

Lucas figured that with Zay in the restroom now was a good time to break his vow of silence.

"There's no way we'll make it through the summer."

"It'll be fun, you said."

"Just like high school, _you_ said."

"You have to admit, things do tend to work out better when we come in threes."

"Speaking of, I think Billy's staying with Missy and her brother."

"Really? That's so cool, it's been a while since we were all here at the same time."

"Sur—all? As in _all_ all?"

"You know, the usual: Missy, Brandon, the Matthews, Darby, Dave...Dave! Remember that time he came down with us? That was a fun summer."

"No it wasn't."

"You're right, it was terrible."

"...the Matthews, huh?"

"Look, there's Zay. Let's go."

* * *

"Remind me, what is it exactly that's wrong with Friar?"

"There's nothing wro-"

"Oh, you mean besides his beard? Where do I even begin?!"

"No." Riley covered Maya's mouth with her palm and turned back to Josh. "They have claimed to hate each other for the longest time except they never actually interact that much. There's some sort of war going on between them since middle school, almost like a game."

"And I always win!" was Maya's muffled response. She promptly licked Riley's hand in order to get released, much to the brunette's disgust.

"Long story short: He's insufferable."

"I don't know. He's always seemed like a pretty stand up guy to me. Stuffed with all the honorable virtues and such."

"Oh, he's full of something, that's for sure."

* * *

Lucas drove silently for a few minutes until he couldn't take it anymore.

"So..you said the Matthews-"

"I don't know if Maya's there."

"Psh, wha? That wasn't- psh. You think that's what I- You're crazy. Shut up. Maya? Psh. Stop. No. Psh." He reached over for a stick of gum to shut himself up.

Farkle and Zay stared at him. "Wow."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

"Who do you think is the new best friend?"

"What do you mean?"

"Riley, come on."

"What?"

"Don't tell me you've never noticed."

"Noticed what?"

"That Lucas and Farkle get a new best friend like, every year."

"What? No they don't."

"Yes they do."

"Who does what?"

"Farkle and Lucas, they get a new sworn brother every summer."

"Oh, yeah, they totally do that. Last time we were all here it was Billy, remember?"

"Remember that one time they brought Dave?" They all shuddered at the memory.

"It's like they can't function as two because they know they'll drive each other crazy after a week. So they bring a buffer to keep their sanity and their friendship."

"And to cook. Those two can't cook for shit."

"I'll second that. But wait, if they're bringing someone-"

"And they are."

"Who is it?"

* * *

"Just call me Isaiah Babineaux, king of the quick pee."

"We are literally three minutes away. You couldn't hold it in for three minutes."

"Hey, man, I can't tell my body what to do. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Next time I'll make sure to pee all over your leather seats."

Farkle narrowed his eyes, "You wouldn't dare."

* * *

"Picture update."

Maya practically tackled him. "Is Lucas in it?" She looked up at brown eyes looking at her weirdly. "What? I was hoping Heehaw and his beard had gotten left behind at the gas station." Two pairs of raised eyebrows. "Just give me that." She took the phone from Josh's hands and studied the picture intently. It was a selfie taken by a grinning Farkle from the passenger seat with Zay leaning over from the back making sure to get a funny face in the picture.

Not that she noticed any of this. Lucas had clearly taken his eyes off the road for the nanosecond the picture was taken in because they stared back at Maya brighter and greener than ever.

"So," Riley said excitedly. "who is it?" she crouched down and peered at the screen over Maya's shoulder. "Is that Zay?"

"What? Oh, right." Blue eyes moved away from green to actually look at the whole picture. "Wait, Zay? Like, from high school?"

Riley took the phone and zoomed in. "Yep, definitely Zay."

Maya cackled. "That poor flatbutted thing. They'll infect him like the plague. It has been proven before that Ranger Rick's presence alone can drive anyone mad."

* * *

Lucas pretended to look up at the house as he snuck a glance at the cars parked next door.

"We're here."

* * *

Riley, perched on the windowseat, looked up from her magazine at the sound of tires and asphalt.

"They're here."

* * *

 _ **Fun fact: In the play, the messenger says that Claudio did "in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion". You will notice that I did something similar except it actually came to be not because of the source material but because I love Zay so so much and he's a baby lamb to me. I threw in the lion thing until later when I realized the connection.**_


	3. hey y'all

**I have not given up on this story.**

 **However, I was hoping that Texas would give me the inspiration I so badly needed to finish chapter 3. I'm guessing y'all saw it and it was not what we expected. I'm more confused than ever about this ship. This does not mean I am jumping or abandoning it. It just means that I have no idea where we stand and I want to wait for the waters to calm down.**

 **This is more a future-fic than an AU (as opposed to YTW where the characters are literally just meeting), so I would like to have it be as canon as possible. And right now the canon has me feeling some type of way. It's changing a lot. And that means that my outline and my plans for this story have as well. It's not even about the storylines, because my storyline for this has always been the same: Much Ado About Nothing. Maya/Lucas as Beatrice/Benedick. Riley as Hero. Zay as Claudio. Farkle as Pedro. Josh as Leonato. And all the other characters I haven't introduced yet. But the characters on the show are still growing and developing. I want to stay true to who they become. That's why everything's changed. I need to work on that.**

 **So, yes, this story is going on hiatus until I decide where I want it to go. (I mean, it was basically on hiatus, seeing as the last update came more than two months ago. This is just me making it offical.)**

 **Bear with me as I try to figure things out. I promise something good will come out of it.**

 **Thank you.**

 **P.S. This doesn't mean I'm giving up on fics completely! My little writing excercise _you're the worst_ will be updated as regularly as possible (look for an update tomorrow, actually), so go check that out! And I am _always_ reading. Even if I don't leave reviews (even though I always try to because that's what I would want my readers to do.)**


End file.
